
Welcome to Sunset Weekly
Sunset Weekly is an online discussion group aimed at building a community of people curious about how to live life fully, intentionally, and meaningfully through the lens of death and dying.
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Offered weekly.
Drop in when it works for you.
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Discussions are not recorded to protect privacy.
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I aim to offer topics that are relevant, engaging, and meaningful. Contact me with requests.
April at Sunset Circle:
Change Over Time
Benjamin Franklin famously said that the only thing we can be certain of is death and taxes. I would argue that we can also be certain of change. Change is the only constant, and we have the ever-present opportunity to consider how we relate and respond to it.
Resisting change and fighting to keep things the same is futile, while change always has its way in the end. Change can be hard: with every change, something is lost and something is gained, and we may not particularly like either. While we might see it in an instant or only over time, it never stops.
When we look at how our lives change over time, we get a sense of who we are, what has shaped us, our values. How do you relate to changes in you and your life? This month, we examine how we as humans experience aging and evolving, how we celebrate (or do not celebrate) changes throughout the lifespan, how wisdom comes with time, how individualism shapes our experience with the passage of time, and how trees can teach us plenty about meaning as we move through the life cycle.
Sunset Weekly is offered on a drop-in, give-what-you-can basis. You are welcome to join anytime. First time is free!
Join the next Sunset Weekly Discussion Group
April 2, 2025
Everybody’s Doing It (Aging)
What’s it like for you?
5pm PST/ 6pm MST/ 7pm CST/ 8pm EST.
Sunset Weekly is offered on a give-what-you-can basis.
From the moment we are born, we are getting older.
Yet, at a certain point, getting older shifts from “growing up” to aging. If we continue living, aging and changing over time is unavoidable. Aging brings with it changes in physiology, social connections, finances, and more. We can look at what research says about the aging experience for understanding and validation. We can also learn from others’ stories and share our own.
What has getting older and aging over time been like for you and those close to you? What areas of your life have been impacted and where do you need support? How does advance care planning played into the aging process for you and vice versa?
Ask yourself: What has been a positive part of aging for you in the realm of: social relationships, finances, personal endeavors, intellect, daily living?
Ask another: What has been a challenging part of aging for you?
Register for access to an optional article and the Zoom link to join.
April 9, 2025
Coming of (All) Age(s)
What if we honored the multitude of changes in adulthood?
5pm PST/ 6pm MST/ 7pm CST/ 8pm EST.
Sunset Weekly is offered on a give-what-you-can basis.
In many cultures, particularly indigenous cultures, there are coming-of-age rituals.
Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, Quinceañeras, Rumspringa, Sweet 16s. These rituals and ceremonies are clear markers for a community member transitioning from childhood into adulthood. This is largely lost in modern western culture, where psychologist Bill Plotkin considers the U.S. to be a country of adolescents. Without rituals to honor this great transition, childhood might bleed into adulthood, blurring lines of adult responsibilities, tasks and social expectations. In addition, awareness of change seems to be concentrated in the beginning of life.
What about rites of passages for other later transitions in life: transitions like retirement, menopause, divorce, stopping driving? Without honoring the change, there can be a clinging to the past, lost grief, and unclear direction of where we are headed.
How can we acknowledge changes in small but meaningful ways?
Ask yourself: What major transitions have I gone through that could have called for a ritual? Are there changes I can foresee that would benefit from an open honoring and ritual?
Ask another: What recent changes have been impactful for you, and how can we together truly let the old go and the new in?
Register for access to an optional article and the Zoom link to join.
April 16, 2025
Wisdom: Intelligence and Experience Over Time
Examining the Wise Old Woman and Man Archetypes
5pm PST/ 6pm MST/ 7pm CST/ 8pm EST.
Sunset Weekly is offered on a give-what-you-can basis.
Archetypes, according to psychologist Carl Jung, are common patterns of thought and behavior that exist in the collective unconscious of a culture, shaping human experience and behavior. They are distinct aspects of identity or personality that can sound quite familiar, as they might be embodied in fairy tales or common folklore.
Two examples of archetypes are the Wise Old Woman and the Wise Old Man. The Wise Old Woman is portrayed by the fairy godmother in Cinderella: wise, insightful, full of experience that is used to guide and support others on their own journeys. Similarly, the Wise Old Man is like Merlin of the King Arthur stories: a wise, supportive, mentor for others as they face their own challenges.
Wisdom can only come with experience and lessons, and these often come with age. How can understanding these archetypes shape our experience of changing, aging and gaining wisdom over time?
Ask yourself: What are a few pivotal moments- experiences, mistakes, encounters, lessons- in my life that have led to wisdom over time?
Ask another: What insights have you gained over time that you would pass on to others?
Register for access to an optional article and the Zoom link to join.
April 23, 2025
Individualism and Aging
How does the emphasis on the individual influence how we view aging?
5pm PST/ 6pm MST/ 7pm CST/ 8pm EST.
Sunset Weekly is offered on a give-what-you-can basis.
In individualistic cultures, independence, privacy, self-reliance, and autonomy are paramount.
Individual needs, goals, and freedom are often prioritized over the group. In collective cultures, group harmony, social responsibilities, and interdependence are often prioritized over the individual. Western cultures are often associated with the former, and eastern cultures the latter.
How might living in an individualistic culture influence aging and the end-of-life process? How can this emphasis on independence be challenged and challenging at the end of life?
Ask yourself: How would my experience of aging change if I were to live in a collective culture or society?
Ask another: How can our community fortify our support of each other in the aging process?
Register for access to an optional article and the Zoom link to join.
April 30, 2025
Aging: How Trees Do It
The magical wisdom of trees
5pm PST/ 6pm MST/ 7pm CST/ 8pm EST.
Sunset Weekly is offered on a give-what-you-can basis.
We can learn all kinds of life lessons from trees. This week, we examine one of my favorite pieces: an excerpt from B.J. Miller and Shoshana Berger’s A Beginner’s Guide to the End. A chapter called “How Nature Dies”. In this page-long chapter, a tree’s life is divided into three sections. The first is about growing, the second: living, then third: dying. In its dying time, a tree releases the many nutrients it has shored up over time, providing for the organisms around it, its most productive and generative. What might we learn about changes in human life from the life of a tree?
Ask yourself: Whatever phase of life I might be in, how am I releasing what I’ve built up into my own ecosystem, in order for it to thrive around me?
Ask another: How are you sharing your wisdom, your gifts, your stories, and resources with those around you to improve the community around you?
Register for access to an optional article and the Zoom link to join.
Take a peek at our favorite past discussion topics
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Why the loneliness epidemic matters to us all, particularly in the end-of-life realm.
Loneliness has long been linked to adverse effects on physical and mental health. Covid and the subsequent social isolation experienced by many seemed to draw more attention to loneliness as a widespread issue as people hunkered down and had limited in-real-life interactions. However, even as Covid restrictions lifted and people resumed social activities, loneliness has persisted and is now what the U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy has described as “an epidemic on par with tobacco use”, impacting 1 in 2 American adults. (1 in 2!!)**. And, like tobacco use, loneliness can come with long-term consequences.
The intensity and impacts of loneliness can vary according to factors such as age, social support, and geographical location. However, in a time of growing social isolation, whether fleeting or long-standing, loneliness is something that most have experienced at some point. In fact, loneliness has been identified as a major concern for people of all age groups, impacting physical health, psychological wellbeing, quality of life, and life expectancy.
Loneliness impacts people across the lifespan and is worthy of attention at any age. Why might being on alert for loneliness be of particular importance at the end of life? How can we proactively mitigate the risks and consequences of loneliness both now and the end of life- for ourselves and others? Dr. Vivek Murthy, quoted above, states that “the antidote [to loneliness]… is human connection”**. How do YOU work with loneliness?
The topic might sound grim - especially in contrast to the bright, colorful warmth of bustling summer- but just like when we talk about death, there is space for holding it all at once. A conversation about death can be dark and 'depressing', but also full of joy and aliveness. As such, a conversation about loneliness is not just about loneliness, but also joy, social connection, and togetherness. So, come join the community discussion and see what unfolds.
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In order to understand Elderhood, we must understand aging and how it is viewed, approached, and 'treated' in our culture (wrinkles?? Gasp- no! But elephants make them look good, so why shouldn't we?). Aging at one point in time was actually viewed as a disease in and of itself (!). How has aging been defined and treated historically in medicine and society, and how does this impact us today? By failing to acknowledge differences in age groups, we risk mis-identifying each one’s unique needs, desires, risks, and benefits. (For example, blood pressure medications have different effects in a young adult compared to an elder). Gerontology is a growing interdisciplinary approach to caring for the social, medical, and psychological needs of older people in an effort to promote quality of life and well-being. (Geriatrics are specifically medically-focused). What does a focus on health rather than medicine do for patients? How can we integrate this understanding into our own care to advocate for ourselves and those we care for?
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The senses are one way that we experience, connect with, and communicate with the world. What is your relationship to each sense?
This week we explore life and death through the five senses beginning with a mindfulness practice. What is your relationship to the sense of sight? sound? smell? taste? touch? Are these senses intact? Do you have other senses to add to this list? Do certain senses seem diminished or enhanced to you regularly or in different situations? Our senses, whether we have 3 or 6, provide us with input from our environment, giving us information about safety, social connections, incoming pleasure or pain, and more. Tuning into our senses is a way to practice presence, but it can also provide insight into how we might make choices or adjustments to sensory input from our environment at different times in our lives or at the end of our lives to create an optimal environment.
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An important element in how we view death is our beliefs of what happens afterwards. What is your answer to this big question? Why? Is yours an answer that is rooted in spirituality? Science? Personal experience? How open are you to possibilities? Those who believe in reincarnation might approach life a bit differently than those who believe that once we die, it is all over. How do your beliefs inform how you move about this world? How do your beliefs about life after death tell you about your beliefs about life right now?

"A good conversation goes a long way."
Diane Rehm, "When My Time Comes"